Photo: giafrese

In my head, I’m a rock star. I stand center stage every night in front of tens of thousands of screaming fans, playing guitar and screaming into a microphone. I’m a music genius and I live my entire life in leather pants, like my rock and roll heroes before me.

Photo: giafrese

In real life, I’m a freelance writer and editor, churning out articles behind a desk. My microphone is my MacBook Pro and my stage is multiple online and blogging platforms. But, when I leave the house, I try to let my rocker freak flag fly, just a little bit.

Photo: giafrese

Photo: giafrese

This outfit was a desk-to-dinner option that I threw together a while ago when I needed something that looked cute enough to head to dinner with clients but comfortable enough to the point where I wouldn’t be irritated in about a half hour. This top? Breezy, easy. The pants? Well, we all know how I feel about waxed skinnies – they’re the Starter Wife to my inevitable purchase of a pair of real leather pants.

Photo: giafrese

Photo: giafrese

I love these pieces because you can basically throw this top with any bottom and it works, much like what’s going on from the waist down. The combination of the black waxed skinnies and the shoes work with anything.

What I’m wearing:  Modcloth Vintage Love Ballad Tunic, AG Jeans The Leatherette Legging, Joan and David Amery Coral Patent Leather Pumps, Make Up For Ever Aqua Shadow and Aqua Rouge 5 in Beige Brown

Image courtesy of M∙A∙C Cosmetics.

Ok, gals: I’m going to need you to get on board (and online) because the next evolution in the collaboration between Rihanna and M∙A∙C Cosmetics is in stores as of today. And it’s gorgeous and everything that you want summer to be: sultry, alluring and all bronzy-sexy-fabulous.

The collection, RiRi <3 M∙A∙C Summer, contains a gorgeous Bronzer/Blush Duo in Hibiscus Kiss (think a post-sweat session pink partnered with a lightly-sun-kissed bronzer)…

M∙A∙C Cosmetics RiRi Summer Powder Blush Duo in HIbiscus Kiss. Image courtesy of M∙A∙C Cosmetics.

Some fabulous on-trend Lustre Drops in Barbados Girl, a gorgeous rose gold (these are unbelievable on skin when the lights are bright, but they’re mind-blowing when the sun goes down…especially in a candlelight situation)…

M∙A∙C Cosmetics RiRi Summer Lustre Drops in Barbados Girl. Image courtesy of M∙A∙C Cosmetics.

And three Retro Matte Lipsticks for summer fun in RiRi Boy…

M∙A∙C Cosmetics RiRi Summer Lipstick in RiRi Boy. Image courtesy of M∙A∙C Cosmetics.

Heaux..

M∙A∙C Cosmetics RiRi Summer Retro Matte Lipstick in Heaux. Image courtesy of M∙A∙C Cosmetics.

and one of my new favorite reds, RiRi Woo (probably one of the best blue-red lipsticks to come along in a while.)

M∙A∙C Cosmetics RiRi Woo

The collection is available exclusively online, so why not talk that talk and get your sexy on with these colors? The easiest way to change your look for summer is with gorgeous makeup, and this awesome  collection is just begging for you to come on and put your name on it…

Me, learning to smile, relax and let go of the pain. Photo: giafrese

I know that there were a lot of posts on the site for a while that focused squarely on the ticking down of my body weight. I felt responsible to report every aspect of this journey, a weekly (or bi-weekly, depending on work) journey to self where I tried to exercise it off, diet it off, and put myself through some REALLY punishing rigors. The efforts worked: I’m down 80 lbs from my original weight, give or take this week’s bout with gastroenteritis.

Which, per this post, may or may not be the last time you see me mention a number associated with my body. Ever again.

Someone joked this week, upon my release from the ER, that I was “one stomach flu away from my goal weight” a la The Devil Wears Prada. I really wish that reference would die. It’s always a little more true than you’d like it to be and we all sort of laugh it off in that top-breath way, like we hope no one ever notices a secret longing for it to be somewhat true.

I hit a point a couple of weeks ago where I had to step away from the workouts. It got to a point where there was too much focus on the number, the size, what I looked like. I caught myself having to recount the number in polite conversation, but the ending had to be the photo of my stomach on the Internet where I underwent a thermal skin tightening procedure. I take the full blame for that: I stepped right up and let a very honest goal turn into a circus. I’ve since put the top hat down and backed away from the tigers and clowns and really focused on this last bit of body mass that seems to eluding my efforts.

We all understand the concept of plateaus, but I’ve hit these weights before and smashed right through them. What was different this time? And why have I, AGAIN, found myself in some crazy cycle of weight loss? I stepped away from the Foursquare check-ins and the constant attempts to push my body into harder and harder workouts that would claim to get that weight right off of me, and I sat back and just thought about it: what was keeping me from losing the rest of the weight?

And then it dawned on me: I’m keeping myself from losing the rest of the weight. Because I use food in ways that prevent me from achieving my goals, and at the end of it, happiness scares the shit out of me because it can be taken away.

Food and I have had a very long and complicated relationship. As a kid who had to spend a lot of time alone and bouncing from one place to another during divorces/relationships/remarriages and the like, I learned to use food as a soothing balm and a punishment. It’s a complex relationship that began a very long time ago, but the withholding of nourishment gave me control when I didn’t have any, and the feel-good feelings of comfort foods were used to soothe my feelings and replace love. Having a great day? Let’s get some popcorn saturated in butter! Not having a good day/you think that something bad is about to happen? Let’s throw down a giant bowl of mashed potatoes. Did that guy not call you? You’re too sad to eat…for the next three days.

See the pattern? Happiness arrives: I eat. I sense happiness may be going: I eat more. Happiness goes: the food goes with it.

As I sat back and reflected on these 30+-year-old patterns, it was like coming face-to-face with the bogeyman under the bed, the crazy monster in the closet you’ve always been afraid to face. I am an emotional eater. I have always been an emotional eater. I had just never really thought about it as a pattern. As an adult, I faced even more trauma and the use of food in this manner became even more prevalent, even more scary.

But there’s a difference now, a change in myself that I hadn’t detected this time: I love myself more now that I ever have. I want to give myself a chance to just be happy, regardless of the scale or the size of the pants.

I have a great desire to stop the cycle of violence against myself, I don’t want to repeat the patterns that were taught early and reinforced often. I have a chance, even at this later stage of the game, to change it…to be healthy all the way through.

And so, I decided to stop buying diet books and trying new workouts and the insanity around trying to hit a certain dress size. I just don’t have it in me anymore. I just want to be healthy. I want any and all relationships that have anything to do with pain to stop. All of them. Painful workouts, food that makes me feel like crap in an hour, people who reinforce negative views I have of myself…they all go. That’s the new diet: cutting out the pain. If it hurts immediately – or will cause pain eventually – I don’t do it.

That’s why there haven’t been new posts on the diet, and that’s why I don’t really talk about the number on the scale so much anymore. Because I’ve realized that as a grown woman, the cycle of abuse ends with me, and that includes beating myself up about the number on the scale, then snatching it away from myself with the wrong food. I’m just done.

And you know what? The clothes I want to wear fit me just fine. I stepped back from the diet books and unfriended a bunch of jerks on Facebook. I stopped entertaining negative comments (two of which came disguised as birthday wishes, if you can imagine.) The diet is Life, Pain Free. And so far, I really like it.

I’m writing this in hopes that anyone feeling that loop of insane diet fever, the quest for the dress or the goal of looking hot for someone else will just stop. Those of us who can’t find a diet that works or a food pattern that will help us achieve whatever the wild ideal we have in our mind’s eye might just need to stop, put the books down and take a hard look at the ton of pain we’re carrying around. Drop that. You’ll feel lighter within minutes. Your stomach will stop bloating because you’ll look at the cookie and the apple and the choice won’t be which is the better option, but the question will come up, “Am I even really hungry?”

My choice is to heal the emotional hunger for a while. I’ll still be working out, I just don’t want to go to such extreme, painful measures to achieve anything anymore.

The Pain Free Diet. Try it with me. Let’s see if that works.

Photo: giafrese

I think I spilled that I had nabbed some awesome faux leather shorts from Topshop this spring, which I rocked at my college reunion. They’ve since become a super fun part of my wardrobe, especially since I’ve gotten over the whole wow-am-I-really-rocking-’leather’-shorts thing in my head. They’re just a pair of shorts. A slightly more badass pair of shorts, but a pair of shorts just the same.

Photo: giafrese

Photo: giafrese

I paired it with this super fun floral tunic from Gap and my favorite wedge sneakers. I love these pieces because all of these items can go with pretty much everything else (I originally wanted to pair the top with a shrunken navy blazer and colored skinnies), but together I think they kind of rock. Kind of like running errands with serious attitude.

Photo: giafrese

Photo: giafrese

Photo: giafrese

What I’m Wearing: Gap floral tunic top (no longer available online, similar styles available here), Topshop Zip Side Leather Look Shorts, Zara Studded Wedge Sneakers, Ray-Ban Wayfarers, 

Dear Beauty Editor Goddess-in chief…

I’m attending a wedding on Friday afternoon out on the Eastern Shore (near Annapolis) in a beach park area. Dress is “beach formal.” I’ll be wearing a dark teal dress (surplice v-neck, straight skirt, sleeveless) and bling-y black flat sandals. What should I do for my make-up, esp eyes?

Sincerely,
devoted fan

And I just cut and pasted that right into the site, so please know I wouldn’t refer to myself as Beauty Editor Goddess-in-Chief….but now that I’ve seen that title, I’m totally into it.

I asked her to send me a photo of the dress. Here it is, a gorgeous lace number by Lane Bryant.

Lane Bryant Lace Surplice Dress. Image courtesy of Lane Bryant.

I have a general rule of thumb when it comes to makeup: play up the lips during the day, go for dramatic eyes at night. Since this is an afternoon wedding that will most definitely go through the evening, go for the eyes. Just wear sunglasses over the makeup before the sun sets. It’ll protect your eyes and the makeup look.

I would say this is the time to go for a smoky eye but topped with a bit of color, so I’d be sure to use a primer so the eyeshadow stays put, then apply a cream smoke grey shadow as the base of the eye, then line with dark navy or a charcoal at the “V” of the eye (along the top lash line to the corner of the eye, then up slightly into the crease.) Blend with your fingers to create a smoky effect, and then right at the center of the eye (right over the center of the orb when you close it), tap in a little teal cream shadow so it pulls in the color of the dress. Load on the mascara and you’re done.

Go with a blush that suits your complexion, and then use a peach or pink sheer gloss to finish the look. Here are all the products I’d recommend using:

• Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Primer
• Maybelline Color Tattoo Cream Shadows in Audacious Asphault and Tenacious Teal
• Maybelline EyeStudio Master Drama Cream Pencil Eyeliner in Sapphire Strength or Coal Commander
• Maybelline Volum’Express Mascara One by One in Brownish Black
• Maybelline Dream Bouncy Blush in Fresh Pink or Coffee Cake
• Maybelline ColorSensation Color Whisper Lip Color in Pink Possibilities or Pin-Up Peach

Got a question for me? I’d love to help. I might even be able to give you the product that solves the problem! Ask me in the comments below, on the Facebook page or on Twitter.

I love when a beauty product can actually do some good in the world other than just giving you better skin/hair/nails. I’ve long been a fan of H2O Plus and their incredible skin-loving formulas, so when they sent over this awesome shower gel and told me about the cause, I wanted to make sure that I told you about it as well.

The scent: Divine and perfect for summer. It’s got a clean, freshwater scent that I love this time of year (think ocean spray mixed with a little bit of marine air.) It’s also the perfect fragrance if you only have room in your shower for one shower gel and you have a dude who freaks out if anything other than bar soap approaches the tub. Just make sure he doesn’t bogart this product, because it smells good enough to steal.

The Skin Benefits: As someone who suffers from dry skin, this is like a dream come true. It’s packed with Watercress Extract and Iceland Moss, antioxidants that help reduce free radical damage and help it bounce back and stay resilient, plus provitamin B5, Vitamin E, and Aloe Vera for the ultimate in hydration. Dry summer skin? Too much sun/wind/late night exposure? This one’s for you.

The Charitable Cause: The company has committed to donate 10% of net sales from this product to EarthEcho International, which helps inform and empower youth to protect and restore our planet’s water sources.

Can a shower gel really help make the world a better place? Maybe. Every little bit counts, and this one’s trying to make a difference, so let’s help out, shall we?

H2O Plus Restore Our Planet Limited-Edition Shower Gel, $10, H2OPlus

Photo: giafrese

Photo: giafrese

My photographer, Jeff Smith (aka “giafrese”) has a soft spot for the romantic allure of black and white photos. I think it captures his spirit well…he’s a really brilliant person with an old soul, someone who sees the world without distractions and in beautiful shades of shadow and light. I work with him a lot because he “gets” me in photos.

Photo: giafrese

Photo: giafrese

Honestly, this outfit is so simple, but it’s one of my favorites: a white muscle tank with a flowing black-and-white-striped skirt. You can’t see the color of the Rebecca Minkoff bag, but it’s a vivid purple, which is basically my way of “being bold” with a look like this. The combination of the two items are super breezy and so comfortable for summer.

Photo: giafrese

I love these pictures because they’ve made me a bit more romantic about the way I look. It’s one of the best things about summer, I think – that sense of taking things a little easier, the ability to slow down and really appreciate the little things. Easy clothes and the appreciation of a cool breeze when the mercury rises are among some of the pleasures I hope to experience this summer…and maybe I’ll be lucky enough to re-experience this romantic view of life.

Photo: giafrese

What I’m Wearing: T by Alexander Wang Muscle T with Pocket, H&M Striped Skirt (available in-store),  Rebecca Minkoff Mini Five-Zip bag, Nine West 7 Proudly pumps, RJ Graziano Clear Lucite Bubble Necklace (no longer available, similar styles here), Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses

The seriously-awesome sale for big-breasted gals is on NOW!

OK, some of you, like me, have big boobs. There, I said it: “boobs.” We have them, and some are bigger than others. Mine are big, and, quite frankly, we’re good friends. They’re spectacular.

Also, if you’re like me, the underwear drawer has some things in it that should never see daylight: threadbare panties, bras with the elastic shooting out of them like the Fourth of July, cotton granny panties that don’t even have a color anymore.

Ladies, we need some new drawers in our drawers, which is why we all need to hop on this with a swiftness not seen outside the Olympics: Bare Necessities is having a big, huge, monster sale on Wacoal and it starts RIGHT NOW.

In other words, big-breasted gals, NOW IS OUR CHANCE to get some bras that fit. Hallelujah!

Note: Use code WFLASH to get 40% off, plus free shipping!

Enjoy, ladies! Get some new undies, then proceed to do a dance in your new bras and panties! Show ‘em what you’re workin’ with!

AMY MARLAND! YAY! I’ll be in touch shortly to get your mailing address so you can enjoy all your goodies! It’s the WHOLE Simple Skincare line. I know you’re going to LOVE it!

Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen. There’s another giveaway coming on Friday…and it’s another big one.

Thanks!

xo,

Kristin

Photo: giafrese

I’m a true vintage junkie. How do I know? Because I’ve always been the weird kid that wanted everything to feel like someone had already broken it in for me. There’s nothing more satisfying to me than finding a pair of jeans that have already been softened, a t-shirt that’s been washed to the point of feeling like a second skin. It’s a very male practice of shopping: I don’t buy things that itch or don’t feel good.

Photo: giafrese

Photo: giafrese

Let’s also admit that I have quite the collection of vintage concert t-shirts. Other people are on the lookout for handbags and the perfect designer ashtray when they troll vintage stores and eBay; I’m still on the hunt for the raglan-sleeved Police concert t-shirt from the Synchronicity tour. When I get my hands on that shirt, it’ll be my Holy Grail and I WILL put a ring on it.

Photo: giafrese

Photo: giafrese

Clearly, this is a rather liberal interpretation of how to style a vintage t-shirt, but this threadbare Iron Maiden version of my uncle’s (I found my grandmother cleaning the house with it and pulled it from her hands almost immediately) is one of my perfect tops to wear with a summer suit. Throw on some gold jewelry, Ray-Ban sunnies and my new favorite Jimmy Choos, and I’m ready for meetings. If you’ve got t-shirts that are just taking up room, try this look  for your next girl’s night out or fun function.

Photo: giafrese

Photo: giafrese

Because, in all honesty, I try on a ton of different outfits, but this one feels the most  ’at home’ for me….kind of like…well, an old, favorite t-shirt.

What I’m wearing: H&M Blazer and Black Pants, vintage necklaces, J.Crew Crystal Venus Flytrap earrings, Ray-Ban Aviators, R and Em Clo Convertible Zipper Tote (no longer available, similar styles here), Jimmy Choo Agnes Pump in Antique,MAC Cosmetics lipstick in Russian Red, C. Wonder Pave Initial Cuff , C. Wonder Pyramid Stud Friendship Bracelet, Alexander McQueen Small Enamel Skull Bangle,