Dita Von Teese. image courtesy of BurlesqueNews.com

Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve got a confession to make: I’ve lost my sexy.

Now, I’m not exactly sure where and when this loss occurred. Perhaps somewhere between gaining 100 pounds some six years ago. Maybe it was passing an age where people thought I should (and put a tremendous amount of pressure on me to) get married. Maybe it was losing jobs, moving to New York, launching FSB and pouring my heart and soul into what has turned into this site, my “baby” and the love of my professional life. Perhaps it was ending the relationship with the man I thought was the Love of My Life…

But here I am, years wiser and somewhat sexually and sensually stunted. It occurred to me today that I’ve been on one date (last year in April) since my breakup with That Guy in July 2009. That was also the last time I got busy with someone.

I know…”yikes” is right.

I admit openly that I thought losing 33 lbs on the Core Fusion challenge would have done the trick. I thought that dropping a considerable amount of body weight would have give me my mojo back, that hours spent in plank poses and pushing my body to the limit would have somehow reconnected me with that fearless woman who could flirt with any man, who felt desirable and personally powerful. Even though I have spent a considerable amount of effort getting a more attractive body, I still have the mindset of someone who doesn’t see herself as “sexy.” The outer work is almost done – the inner work has a ways to go.

The signs are all too familiar for many of you: more baggy clothing that I really need with the excuse that “I’ll wear it around the house” and it always makes its way outside, drawers full of cotton panties that should never be seen ANYWHERE but they’re on my butt every day, more shapewear and preventative wardrobe measures than thongs and lacy bits. I’ve got more denim than damask, a bed piled with paperwork on the “partner side” and nothing pink in sight. People, this ain’t good.

I am a woman in need of a serious mojo makeover, so I’ve decided to give myself one and I hope that you’ll join me. I’m working on getting some really fun experts to help me come in and figure out how to reconnect with that inner vixen, the girl who can flick an eyebrow at a gent and get a phone number. Because life is moving on swiftly and I am just not comfortable with the idea that I’m going to spend one more moment on the sidelines. I’m getting that bikini wax, I’m going for that burlesque class, I’m going to get those high heels back on and make every moment count.

Because as women, it’s not up to anyone else to decide what’s “sexy.” We must understand that all of us – and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US – is a wanton sex goddess and anyone would be lucky to have her, but more importantly that we love and deserve ourselves. It’s not about how much you weigh, what size you are or even what your hair color is. Do not wait to lose those extra pounds, stop waiting for the day that you land whatever job/house/goal – the time to love all over yourself is NOW. Ladies, it’s time for me -and any others of you who have lost your sexy – to get it back.

Like Justin said, I’m bringing sexy back. Who’s with me?